I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny. ~Gilbert Gottfried
#quotes #gilbert-gottfried #humor #explanation
quotistIf someone were to say, "Well, what would you have done differently?" I'd say, "Nothing." I think you need to make mistakes. ~Kim Kardashian
#quotes #kim-kardashian
Joblessness is a weapon of mass destruction. Poverty is a weapon of mass destruction. Hunger is a weapon of mass destruction. Poor health care is a weapon of mass destruction. Poor education is a weapon of mass destruction. Discrimination is a weapon of mass destruction. Let us abolish such weapons of mass destruction here at home. ~Dennis Kucinich
#quotes #dennis-kucinich #poverty #health #education #destruction
Never underestimate the power of wide-grip pull-ups to develop width and size. ~Ronnie Coleman
#quotes #ronnie-coleman #exercise
Brilliant. A very funny and concise explanation of why we men are as we are. If you are male, you should read it and then make your partner read it, so they will no longer hate you but pity you instead. ~Harry Enfield
#quotes #harry-enfield #men
The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases. ~Thomas Jefferson
#quotes #thomas-jefferson #freedom #government
When you sign with a label, they do insist upon certain rights, and if you have a competent attorney, your rights will be protected. ~Tommy Shaw
#quotes #tommy-shaw #rights
Remember how you used to be able to feel your bed breathing and the walls spinning when you were a kid? ~Lynda Barry
#quotes #lynda-barry #children
If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity. ~Maya Angelou
#quotes #maya-angelou #humor #laughing
When I was a very young lawyer, I had a senior partner who advised me never to get mad, except on purpose. ~Warren Christopher
#quotes #warren-christopher #law
When I am in situations where I break out of the pattern, it's hard on me. Once you get used to regular scripture study, you miss it if you don't have it. It's like food; you have to have it. I know that I need the scriptures like I need food. I don't miss a regular meal, and I don't miss regular scripture study. ~Henry B. Eyring
#quotes #henry-b-eyring
Anyone who is not an anarchist agrees with having a policeman at the corner of the street; but the danger at present is that of finding the policeman half-way down the chimney or even under the bed. ~Gilbert K. Chesterton
#quotes #gilbert-k-chesterton #anarchism #government
Human lives are hard, even those of health and privilege, and don't make much sense. This is the message of the "Book of Job": Any snappy explanation of suffering you come up with will be horseshit. ~Anne Lamott
#quotes #anne-lamott #suffering #books
I cancel going out if my hair doesn't look good. ~Brad Goreski
#quotes #brad-goreski
Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and therefore congenial to it. ~Gilbert K. Chesterton
#quotes #gilbert-k-chesterton #fiction #mind #reality
Is it right to shoot the poor prostitute or a woman who is unfaithful to her husband, or a man who loves another man? ~Oriana Fallaci
#quotes #oriana-fallaci #ethics
The worst moment for an atheist is when he feels a profound sense of gratitude and has no one to thank. ~Gilbert K. Chesterton
#quotes #gilbert-k-chesterton #gratitude #atheism
To inquire into the origin of life is like seeking the origin of electrical machinery or the origin of music. Every increase in complexity of arrangement, of form, of substance, leads to new and often incalculable properties. ~Gilbert Newton Lewis
#quotes #gilbert-newton-lewis #life #origin
The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places, but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater. ~J.R.R. Tolkien
#quotes #j-r-r-tolkien #love #inspiration #darkness
When you are starting out as an actor people are very interested in who you are because they want to know where they can put you. And quite often, and we're all guilty of this is our lives, we judge very quickly and we pigeon-hole people very quickly based on how they look and how they talk and how they dress and we think: "Oh yeah, we know who you are." ~Tom Hiddleston
#quotes #tom-hiddleston #entertainment #judging
I know people will think it's funny because I've done glamour modelling in the past, but I felt embarrassed about my body and just wanted to cover it up. ~Jennifer Ellison
#quotes #jennifer-ellison #modeling
proverbiosI am a fervent foe of water pollution, whether it is our own Hudson River or Philadelphia's tap water. ~Gore Vidal
#quotes #gore-vidal #hudson-river #environment #pollution #water
As teenagers, Marcus had been the muscle and Jake the brains. Marcus had beat up the kids who'd made fun of skinny Jake; Jake had convinced teachers not to punish him. Since then, Marcus had grown a brain and Jake had developed muscles. But habits die hard. ~Gena Showalter
#quotes #gena-showalter #teenage
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. ~William Prescott
#quotes #william-prescott #power #patience