I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny. ~Gilbert Gottfried
#quotes #gilbert-gottfried #humor #explanation
It's hard to be a good doctor if you don't think about the social circumstances of who you're treating. There are many Tory doctors, but I think it's difficult to be a doctor and a genuine right winger. ~Robert Winston
#quotes #robert-winston #doctors #medicine
Brilliant. A very funny and concise explanation of why we men are as we are. If you are male, you should read it and then make your partner read it, so they will no longer hate you but pity you instead. ~Harry Enfield
#quotes #harry-enfield #men
If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity. ~Maya Angelou
#quotes #maya-angelou #humor #laughing
When I am in situations where I break out of the pattern, it's hard on me. Once you get used to regular scripture study, you miss it if you don't have it. It's like food; you have to have it. I know that I need the scriptures like I need food. I don't miss a regular meal, and I don't miss regular scripture study. ~Henry B. Eyring
#quotes #henry-b-eyring
Anyone who is not an anarchist agrees with having a policeman at the corner of the street; but the danger at present is that of finding the policeman half-way down the chimney or even under the bed. ~Gilbert K. Chesterton
#quotes #gilbert-k-chesterton #anarchism #government
And they need not cause you grief. As my Highland grandmother said, and she had the Sight-Tis not the dead ye have to be concerned about! Beware of the Living! And she was a wise woman. The dead are beyond your help or mine, poor things. But the living need us. Thirty souls at the least, Phryne, are still on that island to praise God who might now be angels-or devils. ~Kerry Greenwood
#quotes #kerry-greenwood #helping
Human lives are hard, even those of health and privilege, and don't make much sense. This is the message of the "Book of Job": Any snappy explanation of suffering you come up with will be horseshit. ~Anne Lamott
#quotes #anne-lamott #suffering #books
I have accepted fear as a part of life; specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. ~Erica Jong
#quotes #erica-jong #fear #change
We have first raised a dust and then complain we cannot see. ~George Berkeley
#quotes #george-berkeley #complaining
Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and therefore congenial to it. ~Gilbert K. Chesterton
#quotes #gilbert-k-chesterton #fiction #mind #reality
The worst moment for an atheist is when he feels a profound sense of gratitude and has no one to thank. ~Gilbert K. Chesterton
#quotes #gilbert-k-chesterton #gratitude #atheism
A great war leaves the country with three armies: an army of cripples, an army of mourners, and an army of thieves. ~German Proverb
#proverbs #german-proverbs #war
Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here is a little tip Howard; cut back on the Red Bull. ~David Letterman
#quotes #david-letterman #howard-dean #red-bull #ranting
To inquire into the origin of life is like seeking the origin of electrical machinery or the origin of music. Every increase in complexity of arrangement, of form, of substance, leads to new and often incalculable properties. ~Gilbert Newton Lewis
#quotes #gilbert-newton-lewis #life #origin
Nothing got without pains but an ill name and long nails. ~Scottish Proverb
#proverbs #scottish-proverbs #name
Remember how you used to be able to feel your bed breathing and the walls spinning when you were a kid? ~Lynda Barry
#quotes #lynda-barry #children
Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you get your brains kicked out. ~Francis Bacon
#quotes #francis-bacon #truth
A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom. ~Chinese Proverb
#proverbs #chinese-proverbs #nature #flower
It is true that traditional Christianity is losing some of its appeal among Americans, but that is a religious, not political, matter. It is worth remembering that the Jeffersonian "wall of separation" between church and state has always been intended to protect the church from the state as much as the state from the church. ~Jon Meacham
#quotes #jon-meacham #religious #christianity #politics #united-states
As the bee collects nectar and departs without injuring the flower, or its color or fragrance, so let the sage dwell on earth. ~Gautama Buddha
#quotes #gautama-buddha #buddhist
I know people will think it's funny because I've done glamour modelling in the past, but I felt embarrassed about my body and just wanted to cover it up. ~Jennifer Ellison
#quotes #jennifer-ellison #modeling
My dad says that when I was two or three I used to go out dressed as a different character every day. I remember thinking it was perfectly normal to wear different coloured shoes and carry a pink umbrella. But now I've got a goddaughter of that age; I realise it's not normal at all. ~Alice Eve
#quotes #alice-eve #childhood #clothing
Three things see no end. A flower blighted ere it bloomed. A message that was wasted. And a journey that was doomed. ~Mercedes Lackey
#quotes #mercedes-lackey #flower
If you were to open up a baby's head, and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should; you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. ~Dave Barry
#quotes #dave-barry #humor
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