The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. ~Mark Twain
#quotes #mark-twain #ignorance #humor

Many a true word is spoken in jest. ~English Proverb
#proverbs #english-proverbs #humor #speaking

I have an elbow that bends the wrong way, and I'd do things like stand in an elevator and the doors would close, and I'd pretend that my arm had got caught in it, and then I'd scream, "Ow, ow, put it back!" ~Geena Davis
#quotes #geena-davis #humor

If you want something done well, do it yourself. ~English Proverb
#proverbs #english-proverbs

Even nectar is poison if taken to excess. ~Hindu Proverb
#proverbs #hindu-proverbs #excess

If you were to open up a baby's head, and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should; you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. ~Dave Barry
#quotes #dave-barry #humor

Epigrams succeed where epics fail. ~Persian Proverb
#proverbs #persian-proverbs

Bad as I like ye, it's worse without ye. ~Irish Proverb
#proverbs #irish-proverbs #heart

The main courtyard was filled with warriors, mermen with fish tails from the waist down and human bodies from the waist up, except their skin was blue, which I'd never known before. Some were tending the wounded. Some were sharpening spears and swords. One passed us, swimming in a hurry. His eyes were bright green, like that stuff they put in glo-sticks, and his teeth were shark teeth. They don't show you stuff like that in "The Little Mermaid. ~Rick Riordan
#quotes #rick-riordan #the-little-mermaid

A seed hidden in the heart of an apple is an orchard invisible. ~Welsh Proverb
#proverbs #welsh-proverbs #seeds

A little dog can start a hare, but it takes a big one to catch it. ~Irish Proverb
#proverbs #irish-proverbs

In a moment, we hope to see the pole vault over the satellite. ~David Coleman
#quotes #david-coleman #humor

The fool ignores proverbs, while the wise man learns from them. ~Chinese Proverb
#proverbs #chinese-proverbs #humor

A good conscience is a soft pillow. ~German Proverb
#proverbs #german-proverbs #conscience

Familiarity breeds contempt. ~English Proverb
#proverbs #english-proverbs

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterwards. ~Spanish Proverb
#proverbs #spanish-proverbs #laziness #idleness #humor

Success is a ladder you cannot climb with your hands in your pockets. ~American Proverb
#proverbs #american-proverbs #effort #success

Experience this moment to its fullest. ~Zen Proverb
#proverbs #zen-proverbs #buddhism #experience

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to. ~Rodney Dangerfield
#quotes #rodney-dangerfield #children #humor

Imagination is cheap as long as you don't have to worry about the details. ~Daniel Dennett
#quotes #daniel-dennett #imagination

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to. ~Chic Murray
#quotes #chic-murray #humor

Two wrongs don't make a right. ~English Proverb
#proverbs #english-proverbs

If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity. ~Maya Angelou
#quotes #maya-angelou #humor #laughing

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. ~Will Durant
#quotes #will-durant #humor

I invented the cordless extension cord. ~Steven Wright
#quotes #steven-wright #humor