I invented the cordless extension cord. ~Steven Wright
#quotes #steven-wright #humor

I will never ever sell Neverland. ~Michael Jackson
#quotes #michael-jackson

Even if I had expected it, even if I had known what I was going to do with my life, it would have knocked the wind out of me. When something that violent hits you, you can't help but lose your balance and fall. And after you pick yourself up, you realize you can't trust anybody to save you, not your husband, not your mother, not God. So what can you do to stop yourself from tilting and falling all over again? ~Amy Tan
#quotes #amy-tan #family

All I care is that my family, and my loved ones, understand me. Or that they understand me to a degree; I don't understand me very much. And I don't need the world to understand me. That is the most egocentric thing. ~Andrea Corr
#quotes #andrea-corr #family #understanding #communication

I love Jesus Christ with all my heart and everything He stands for. I think that sums up everything that I want for my life, everything I want for my family, everything I want for my career. I want it to be entertaining. I want people to smile and tap their toes, but I want it to be meaningful when the day is done. ~Josh Turner
#quotes #josh-turner #christianity

What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind if want to be funny or serious. My response is that I will make up my mind when God does, because life is a commingling of the sacred and the profane, good and evil. To try and separate them is fallacy. ~Tom Robbins
#quotes #tom-robbins #critic #writing

I think because both of my parents were essentially salespeople, and Italian-Americans, I always seemed to get along with people; I had a knack of finding something to talk about. ~Bob Colacello
#quotes #bob-colacello #italian

The world is lousy with Arab princes. And if we could have got Osama bin Laden, and saved at some point down the road 3,000 American lives, a few less Arab princes would have been okay in my book. ~Michael Scheuer
#quotes #michael-scheuer #prince #osama-bin-laden #united-states

The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases. ~Thomas Jefferson
#quotes #thomas-jefferson #freedom #government

A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. I reckon, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, it because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried. ~Garson Kanin
#quotes #garson-kanin #night #thinking

The basic philosophy of stoicism is that you have nothing real external to your own consciousness, that the only thing real is in fact your consciousness. ~Roger Avary
#quotes #roger-avary #philosophy #stoicism #conscious

Plaid is always cute and always will be. But only on the bottom. At the top, it makes you look like a farmer. ~Jen Lancaster
#quotes #jen-lancaster

I would like, if I can, to broaden the possibilities of the musical theater. I think there is a better "Oklahoma!" someplace, a better "West Side Story." And I would like to be mixed up in it. ~Richard Rodgers
#quotes #richard-rodgers #theater

By keeping most tax rates at present levels, Obama and the Democrats will claim that they have championed tax cuts for the middle class. ~John Podhoretz
#quotes #john podhoretz #government #taxation

Jesuits encourage an intellectual rigor in a way that I like. ~Alexander Payne
#quotes #alexander-payne #jesuits #christianity #religious

I consider Khomeini's position dangerous. He does not have the right to pass judgment; that is not the Islamic way. ~Naguib Mahfouz
#quotes #naguib-mahfouz #knomeini #power

A hungry man is an angry man. ~English Proverb
#proverbs #english-proverbs #eating

Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven. ~Yiddish Proverb
#proverbs #yiddish-proverbs #equality #destiny

There are no true friends in politics. ~Marcus Tullius Cicero
#quotes #marcus-tullius-cicero #friendship #politics

Let me make it clear that I do not assert that a President and the Congress must on all points agree with each other at all times. Many times in history there has been complete disagreement between the two branches of the Government, and in these disagreements sometimes the Congress has won and sometimes the President has won. But during the administration of the present President we have had neither agreement nor a clear-cut battle. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
#quotes #franklin-d-roosevelt #government #politics #presidency

I think children learning to cook can be such a wonderful thing. It can help build confidence, make them feel good about themselves. It helped me build my ego and even start to get acceptance at school. I would bring things to class that I had cooked at home. ~Giada De Laurentiis
#quotes #giada-de-laurentiis #cooking #childhood

If I was to say what I am, I'd be a Labour man. I like Tony Blair a lot, I think he's a good man. And in America I'd definitely be a Democrat; I'd never be a Republican. ~Elton John
#quotes #elton-john #tony-blair #politics #labour-party #democrats

The scenic ideals that surround even our national parks are carriers of a nostalgia for heavenly bliss and eternal calmness. ~Robert Smithson
#quotes #robert-smithson #national-parks

There will be many times in your lives; at school, and more particularly when you are a grown up; when people will distract or divert you from what needs to be done. You may even welcome the distraction. But if you use it as an excuse for not doing what you suppose to do, you can blame no one but yourself. If you truly wish to accomplish something, you should allow nothing to stop you, and chances are you'll succeed. ~Julie Andrews
#quotes #julie-andrews #action #distraction

You would think that Freddy Couples' Nick Price would be the team to beat, but I'll tell you in skins, it's a matter of just hitting it at the right time. ~Fuzzy Zoeller
#quotes #fuzzy-zoeller